Thursday, September 22, 2011

Glee Season 3 Episode 1 RECAP

Hello faithful followers!
Sorry about my long absence...but never fear! The return of Project Runway blogging starts...well, tonight!
But there's something even MORE exciting than Tim in a tie coming up...Fall Premiers! Finally, something to blog about! Check out my post on the shows I will be recapping and reviewing for more fun with Blogging Life!

Anyways, so Glee has finally returned! May I just say, there is no one in the world (yes, world) that is a bigger Glee fan than me. I shake when the show is on. I own every song. My walls are littered in posters of the cast. I have shirts and karaoke, every single episode ever released, and have had a countdown for the premier since, well...since May! If you're a Gleek such as myself, you might want to check out's where I keep up with every Glee related anything, and yes I visit that sight more than Facebook. Which I visit every day. Oh shit I need a life.
Anyways, the show starts out with distinguishing whose a senior and whose a junior. And if you want to know who is which, think of every character you like (Kurt). Yup, they're seniors. Now think of every character who is always stealing precious screen time with a half baked plot line. They're the juniors. Who else is feeling the class of 2012 way more than 2013?
Sam has moved to Ohio and the whole "secret relationship" plot that never happened...wait, what plot? Oh, I forgot.
As for the fat-girl-that's-not-Mercedes (FGTNM) that was dating Puck, well she's out too. And nobody cares about either of them.
Also missing is Quinn, who is dawning pink hair, an ironic tattoo of Ryan Seacrest (harharhar, only three gay men can come up with classics such as this) (I'm kidding, in case you didn't notice), a nose ring, a bare midriff, a long skirt, and a man voice. Did you know that not ONLY was she formally the ugly Lucy Quinn Fabray with the crooked nose and muffin top, but she was also a man? Yeah I didn't. Either way, I would go lesbian for Dianna Agron in any vintage pair of heels or bad ass LBD.
Will and Emma are dating (who cares?) and Sue is running for Congress (who cares?).
Now here is what everyone cares about:
The kids!!! (Kurt) Their assignment this week is to spontaenously burst into song whenever they see a purple piano. Well then.

And they first get the chance in the lunchroom. But we'll get to the songs later.
Santana has to co-captain with Becky and she is pissed. And then gets kicked out of the Glee Club.
Kurt and Rachel head over to look at their opponents to getting into some New York Arts school and spend an hour crying about it in the car, before doing the Gay High Five which makes everything better (anything entitled "The Gay High Five" can make anyone feel better).
And there's a new girl, Sugar Motta, who was funny as hell with a voice I could listen to all day long. And a new guy, Mercedes has found herself a huge, black, sweet talking boyfriend. Wow, Ryan Murphey, way to show off some diversity! Casting Mercedes boyfriend, I can just imagine the poster:
Some black guy
Requirements: He must be black

Come, on RM! I hope that he gets a personality at least...

And Blaine has transferred to McKinley. More importantly, outside the Warbler uniform he's a total prep. Cuteness!
Now time for the Song Recaps:
We Got the Beat
80s bullshit. Sometimes Glee vocals just come out sounding...thin. When Lea Michele isn't belting her voice is sparse and like a high pitched beeping noise on some soapy pop stuff. This really wasn't my favorite. GRADE: C
Ding Dong The Wicked Witch is Dead
It's a Hummelberry duet. That involved Wicked. And jazz. And Lea Michele singing in a raspy Amy Winehouse esque whisper: Get outta that bed (listen to it it's all you'll hear! You're welcome.) Fucking fantastic. GRADE: A
Anything Goes/Anything You Can Do
It's Lindsay from the Glee Project! Okay, she's gorgeous, but she can't act. The scene is kind of overly hyped up and exaggerated until she sings. And damn can that girl sing! The song didn't really showcase her belting but it was enjoyable and cute. GRADE: A-
It's Not Unusual
Klaine. Anything having to pertain to Kurt. Blaine is dressed adorably, shaking his Pom Poms with the Cheerios. It's jazzy and Darren Criss could sing the phone book (hello American Idol saying). GRADE: B+
You Can't Stop the Beat 
This almost turned into another thin version of the original like the other beat song, but their energy and just the rush of Glee being back saved it. GRADE: B-

Overall Recap: Solid return, much better than Season 2. Set up a lot of interesting plot lines.
Next Week: Kiss? Please?
Overall Grade: A-

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