In case none of you were aware, I am the biggest Project Runway junkie ever. I've watched since Jay's chin took up my whole screen. And now my little baby is turning 9!
Well...8 was a hard year, to say the least. The judges were more unpredictable than most of us could bare, wanting something original one week and something commercial the next, looking at styling for a challenge and then completely disregarding it three weeks later. Hopefully they've matured!
So season 9 starts with a "Road to the Runway." Haven't seen one of those in a while. But with 20 (yes, 20) designers, they need about as much help trying to get the audience to remember names as they can! The challenge was a "Come as You Are" party. The designers head down Times Square decked out in a lot of ugly pajamas (they knew they were going to be on TV, right?) and a sheet, some downing it as a scarf. Below, I will recap each designer's outfit and personality.
Baton Rouge, LA
For some reason, Anthony's personality kind of immediately puts me off. There's something about his accent and the way he keeps saying that he's "rocking one" that annoys me. Either way, the guys definitely a fighter, battling through aforementioned testicular cancer and color blindness to become a designer. He made a cute, teenager-y Forever 21 lace top and paired it with a matchy-matchy equally lacy skirt. The whole look is okay...I feel like the top needs to be tucked into the skirt and I can't help but feel like I've bought the same thing at the mall. Blogging Life says safe, Judges say third, and I say his picture is seriously creepy.
Port of Spain, Trinidad and Tobaga
Anya is the stunning former Miss Trinidad and Tobaga with a cute accent and sparkly teeth. I see her winning it all, and me having to watch it with subtitles between Heidi and her. Her look for this week was an oversized, baggy pant paired with a silky lace top with a gorgeous back. Personally, I found the back of the outfit cuter than the front--the pants made the model's butt look delicious and the top was kinda Forever 21. The front, however, was not Top 3 material. The pants were serving major camel toe and I found the proportion of the shirt (belly button? Not cute) slightly odd. The judges gave her a conventeted second, but I give her a safe.
Meet Miss I-Grew-Up-in-a-Christian-Cult with the longest earrings I've ever seen. Her personality is fine, but I never favor the older ones. And the white (or blue) hair really isn't helping, but she cracks a joke about it helping her to be edgy which is kinda cute. I guess. She makes an average, sky blue dress which is rightfully placed by the judges as safe. I would give it a safe too, but top of the safe pile. Hey, it matches her hair.
Los Angeles, CA
Oh, Bert. He is the oldest contestant on Project Runway. Ever. And honestly, if you aren't Peach Carr, being old and being on Project Runway doesn't go together. He has the sob story in line though--he lost his partner and several friends to AIDs, I believe, and turned to alcohol to cope with the pain. Now he's sober and ready to start where he left off--with Halsten! Bert turns out the winning dress, made out of his checkered boxer (draped on the model's boob, poor thing) and sheet, all drapey and tied together with a bow. Personally, I found it hardly safe, and I know I am very alone in my opinion. It was nothing new, and I honestly didn't find that the gray and the print meshed together. Not to mention the 70s styling, and with that being a vying factor in the elimination of contestants last season, letting it slide with him seemed quite inappropriate. He is obviously talented, but I wouldn't give him the win.
Another Oregonian! I don't quite remember his personality, but he looks absolutely adorable in his photo, so I'm just going to say I like him. He made a flowy, renaissance kinda top tucked into a tight, short black skirt, paired with a simple, long gold chain. I say it was definitely safe, maybe bottom of the pack safe because of the awkwardness of the top--I mean the sleeves were longer than the skirt! It's good there were more hot messes on the runway, because he seems cute.
New York, New York
I don't remember much about her personality, other than that she is a gum smiler. Her outfit was that one, I'm sure you all remember, where the model's koo-ka was all out for the world to see. The whole outfit was a little small for model, and the skirt rode awkwardly. Did you know a tight, short skirt can give you camel toe? I do now!
This bird-like cutie is definitely under the 20 contenders curse because who can remember a thing she said? Actually, her outfit is the one I would be most likely to wear. It's a cute 70s kind of over-sized, color blocked sweater tucked into high waisted bright blue shorts. The boots are really cute as well, and overall it was a cute 70s look. Though it was one of my favorite, I think safe was where it belong, which the judges agreed with. By the way, cute kindergarten half smile in this picture? Yes.
This cute hipster cites Zooey Deschanel as her fashion icon and I am immediately a fan. I like the hair and the make-up and the style--her whole look is so hipster adorable. Her dress, on the other hand, was rightfully place in the safe. I don't quite understand what a drawstring hemline has to do with fashion or how it flatters a woman. And then there's a puking clown and a boho side bun. It's a big mess, and I think she was lucky there were obvious worse ones. Come on, honey! Would Zooey wear a drawstring hem or a puking clown? No! Get it together, because I like you!
Hehe. Snohomish. Well, we have our resident Mormon. He's also bald. And not gay. This all makes the kind of person I'm inclined not to like, but he's actually pretty cute, in a Mitchell a la season 6 kind of way. His outfit, however, was not cute. It was the worst, actually, in my opinion. A pair of painfully unflattering white shorts you could have gotten at Target paired with a pink tank top thing with a swatch up the middle and a poncho that stops after the model's boob. No, honey. The whole outfit could have been bought at Wallmart, but just cuter looking. And even it was bought at Wallmart, no sane woman would put those separates together. Especially with a nude heel and a side pony. I think he should count his lucky stars (or wives...or is that too offensive to say?) that he's still there.
I doubt Sunnyside is sunnier than his complexion! This bronzer adorned and finely plucked fellow is funny as hell, if you can get passed the hair, which sticks straight up. It's like a tame Pauly D. His outfit is actually pretty cool and well styled. I say he could make it far, and I think he could be safe or Top 3, either way.
Grand Junction, CO
...Kinda frightens me. She's so severe looking, and I'm honestly not a friend of all the heavy tribal cape-y stuff she showed on Road to the Runway. Her outfit was a hot mess, she looks far from friendly, and honestly I think she or the Mormon should have been sent packing. I mean, ski pants paired with a pink, child's prints one shoulder top? No. Never. Not at all.
And we have our sassy token black! She made a space suit out of her PJs, not a horrible space suit, but a space suit nonetheless. The pants weren't horrible, if you disregard the fact that there is odd gathering and excess fabric. The front of the shirt is horrible, while the back is kinda cute. Overall, it is good that she slipped in the safe stack, with that butterfly winged white top. Step it up, Kimberly, we already lost all the fun, flamboyant ones. I need some personality to make this show watchable!
St. Louis, MO
Okay, guys. She's like not Barbie at all. I mean, sure she puts some concealer on for the Come As You Are party, but I mean, like, at least she doesn't speak foreign like some people. I mean, like, that one Chinese dude, or Asianic or whatever, just trying to be politically correct, ya know? Okay, well, anyways he was all speaking in, like, Italyish and LK was like: "Ummm shouldn't you be speaking Asian? Ching chang chong, you are from, like, Japan!"
Okay, in all honesty, I am ashamed of her to represent an awesome city I spent four years in! I just moved a few years ago back to Boston, but St. Louis will always be a second home to me, and for her to give us some Barbie-doll rep is just embarrassing. I will tell you, if you want to look to a true St. Louisian Michael Drummond from last season is a good representation. Gay, nerd-glasses wearing artist from Downtown. She, on the other hand, is straight out of the suburbs, and, quite honestly, I am too distraught to even recap her clothes. I'm sure they were pink. **Oh wait they weren't. Awkward.
New York, NY
My gay (is he gay?) crush has been chosen! Okay, A he's gorgeous. B, his accent is adorable. C, he's soften spoken and sweet. And D, he's blonde. And Asian. That is major. However, his outfit was rather boring--a tux-inspired top and a throw-away olive pencil skirt, but he's too cute for Heidi to ever send packing. Actually, when I think about it, he may have the cute guy sent home second episode curse on him. Either way, he's my favorite!
Awww did they have to send the only fun one packing! I mean, come on, he thought Nina Garcia wanted to make babies with him and refused to take his headscarf off because, honey, his hurr was a hot ass mess! I mean, sure, his gray leggings were kinda awful, but I could kinda see what he was going for. And the back pleating on the top was beautiful. Personally, I think that the other two Bottom 3-ers could have been sent home over him. Basically, they're no fun.
New York, NY
This cute Mexican who looks like a kindergartner in his picture made one hell of a dress! I mean, that was an adorably ageless dress and I might have even given it the win had it been in the Top 3. Get off that crack pipe, judges.
Well, I promise next time the recap will be shorter. Thanks for reading!