Saturday, October 22, 2011

Project Runway Episode 13 Part 1 Recap

Hello fashion lovers!
Sorry for my absense--it's been a busy past few weeks!
I was really wasn't feeling this season. In fact, I missed this episode originally to watch my team, the Cardinals (#CARDINALNATION), in the World Series.
But then, yesterday morning I was chilling, eating Cheerios on the sofa with my cat, and there were reruns of Season 2 of Project Runway on the Style Network. Yes, I own this season. But nonethless I watched the commercial-y marathon for about two episodes before I got a little taste of the former charm that was Project Runway.
Back in the days when Santino and Nick would make songs in the workroom, and they would all skate with Sasha Cohen and just love each other.
As much fun as the supple drama is nowadays, I truly miss the heartwarming bonding, the friendships, and the fun the designers in the previous seasons had.
But nonetheless I was inspired to watch this most recent episode, without doing work during it, without being on Facebook the whole team and watching out of the corner of my eye.
And let me say I did enjoy.

OKAY. RANT CLOSED.
Now it is time to recap!
So for what I've missed--Bert (?) was eliminated, Laura Kathleen and her adorableness was eliminated. My father met LK a little while ago. He said she was lovely and much prettier than she looks on television!
They decided to keep all four remaining contestants (Kimberly, Josh, Anya, and Viktor) to compete for three spots in this episode. Yawn. Whatta shock. Anyone feel like they've done that plot more times than not?
Anyways, the first person Tim goes to visit is Kimberly in Maryland. She lives in a beautiful, big house. But she did not grow up that way, Kimberly reveals. She tells Tim she grew up in pre-gentrified Brooklyn. Her collection looks beautiful to me. Street, but street smart. Paired with the hoops and the bracelets and the necklaces it seems to me like it's gonna be a really, really cool collection.
Next, Tim is off to Trinidad to visit Anya. Perhaps he will break out a swimsuit? Can we all just think for a second what kind of swimsuit Tim Gunn would own? Would it have a bowtie on the front? Perhaps a detatchable pocket square?
Anya reveals that her brother Pillar passed away a while ago, and she wants this collection to be for him. Uh oh. That's a lot of pressure. But what's even more uh oh is that all she has is a bunch of beachy, flowy fabrics and NO DESIGNS yet. In fact, Anya has designer's block and can't even come up with any new silhouettes. Oh dear.
Wait, but for a second can we just compare and contrast ANYA and a certain past contestant Uli. I just realized they are the same person.
With their maxi dress prints, foreign accents, and lack of variety. Perhaps Anya IS Uli, disguised as a beautiful Caribbean Princess, just trying to redeem herself after the Allstar Challenge. Just a thought.
Anyways, after the Anya scare, Tim is back to New York to visit Viktor.
Viktor went to Mexico for the anniversary of the death of his brother. Oh my God, so my dead brothers and mothers and partners and ahhhh! Can you even make it on this show without a sob story?
Anyways, he has taken pictures and is converting them into textiles. His collection looks very, very Viktor. Glam, pop, pow, and perfection. Watch out other designers.
Last, Tim visits Joshua.
Joshua is in trouble. Tim calls pretty much all the prints that the collection is centered around dowdy and sooo not sexy print. Well this is a problem. "... Where’s the sex that you always want to exude?" Tim asks. Ummmm Tim...is there something you're trying to tell us?
WHAT HAPPENED TO ANDRE???
Back in New York, they are staying on the penthouse of some gorgeous hotel. When Josh walks onto the balcony, a gust of wind hits him, that reminds him of his mother.
Anya sneaks up behind him to surprise him. Has anyone else noticed she is dressing more and more like a stylish high schooler at a prep school as the competition goes on? All these tight mini skirts paired with Ugs. Come on Anya, this is supposed to be fashion. Guess she's going for skin for the win? That'll sure help with the Kors ticket.
Everyone pretends to be happy to see each other, but is snarky to the camera. Except for when Viktor pulls out his white leather jacket with pearls cascading down the sleeves.
All the designers are just like: "Holy. Fucking. Shit."
Runway time!
ANYA
Anya sends this God-Awful collection down the Runway. Yes, the first dress is cute. But come on. The first dress is cute. And not that they are absolute twins, but the fabric choices are just too reminiscent for me of this. The second thing is just ridiculously terrible like that shit would have been eliminated in the first challenge had it been shown then. And the puckering, disgusting look golden gown at the end should have received the auf'd on it's own. I know Anya is dressed like she's starting highschool there, but we can't treat her like that! I know she's a good person but these designs are HORRIBLE and she should have been eliminated for them. Case closed.

KIMBERLY

Honestly, I liked Kimberly's collection. Not that I'm the biggest fan of Kim or her past work, but this stuff was, well, cool. I guess too cool for the judges to quite get. There are a lot of shitty pieces up there and bad styling, but some of the individual pieces are great. I love the subtle sexiness of the gown, the crop top worn with the heinous bubble skirt (Kim channeling the Kim Kardashian much?), and the whole outfit on the right (minus the shoes). Like all of those pieces would sell. They are cute, comfy, and in right now. And I like the hoops and bracelets, didn't mind the hair, but could see the matchy shoes and the bags go. Overall, I think Kim has a shot. It certainly was my favorite!
VIKTOR Viktor's collection is very Viktor. There were some nice pieces, but overall there is A LOT going on. I like the jacket, I'm not a fan of the mullet style of the dress. I like the jacket and the glass top, but don't understand the praising of the pants. Come on. It looks like she has her period all over the front of them (top left). The dress on the right is cute, nothing new. Overall, Viktor has a good shot of taking it all, and I wouldn't be angry if he did. BTW Viks: You did look like a drag queen. Sorry, babe.
JOSHUA You all know I'm not only Joshua's biggest fan, I kind of am his only fan. But his collection right now is bleh. I like the top of the look on the left, but the flowiness is kind of bleh, and then the back is a total wtf was he thinking. And then the dress in the middle is ordinary and somewhat subpar. Not bad, not good (hehe modesty tab). But definitely not for the model. And as an average sized girl, I shouldn't be the one to comment on the model's weight but she was a little straight for this dress.  Or maybe it's just not a flatter dress, but she looks like a long torso with feet up there on the runway. The look on the right is my favorite, it's very Joshua. Honestly, love Josh, but this collection really is a C+ for me right now. Nothing new, nothing exciting. I hope he steps it up for the finale.


The judges decided to keep everyone.
Josh was rightfully mad: there are some jank collections that are gonna get to show. And yes, it is unfair. I get the judges couldn't make a decision because they're all bad, but then why not get rid of both the girls (even though I would disagree)? THAT would be a shock! Instead it's fuddy-duddy everyone's happy. Woohoo.

If I had been the judge it would have been goodbye Anya. Her collection just doesn't cut it, no matter how gorgeous she is.

Well, see ya next week for the grand finale! Who do you think will win?
MY money's on Kimberly. They need that black winner for their rating.


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