Saturday, September 10, 2011

Project Runway Season 9 Episode 7 Recap

Annnddd it's another team challenge.
Anyone starting to wonder what their individual aesthetics look like?
It's the classic Project Runway formula episode. HP Touch Smart Advertising+ Creating their own Textile+Teams. Let's see how many people we can make cry!
The teams are as follows:
Team Chaos (yeah...why?):
Anthony Ryan, Anya, Viktor, Olivier, and Bryce
Team Nuts and Bolts:
Joshua M., Laura, Kim, Becky, and Bert

So I don't know quite what happened there, so let's refer to our recipe for disaster:
8 Cups of Team Challenges
1/2 Cup of No Team Leaders
1 Cup of No Team Leaders with Joshua on your Team
5 Cups of a Dead Mother's Birthday
A Pinch of Curse words
9 Clocks, Minced
1 Extremely Gay Shirt
Bake time: 90 Minutes
Serves: Four, so someone's not eating and better get their ass of the runway

But I'm getting ahead of myself.
So Team Perfect is perfect and I kind of hate all of them despite myself.
Meanwhile, Team Nuts and Bolts is full of a bunch of nuts and bolts. Joshua clearly enjoys beating old people up, so this time he is after Bert.
Bert is mumbling to himself again (get the man help) and Joshua is unhappy when he cursed. Was it just me or did Joshua say "fuck damn" earlier? Maybe it was just me.
"I'm going to need you to back up," Joshua says heatedly to Bert as he steps forward. I mean, he's a pretty intimidating guy. He may poke you with a cane, or jiggle his pot belly, or die, y'know?
Joshua storms out and Laura is quick on his heels. The two talents of the team sit together and work it out. It turns out that Joshua's (who, by the way, is still my favorite) mother died two years ago, which he mentioned last episode, but her birthday is coming up. Since it was just two years ago, it is quite possible this is the first birthday he is celebrating without her.
There's something about Joshua that makes me want to leap through the television and give him a hug. I mean, he's so transparent. He tries so hard to put up this bitchy facade but we can all tell he's just a little boy that misses his mother. I don't care what anyone says, Joshua for the win!

Anyways, out of this whole mess comes the "Inspiration" of clocks. And they are painting gears and numbers onto their patterns. Clever.
Team Perfect isn't much better, either. God knows what they are inspired by, but they have some hella cute prints and they have all made it a point to work together like little angels, as if to exasperate Nuts and Bolts.
"I just love the smell of fabric in the morning," remarks Anya.
"I just adore making a Southern Accent gay," says Anthony Ryan.
"MY MOTHER JUST DIED," yells Joshua.
"I'm a blonde gaysian, as happy as can be," whistles Olivier.
*Becky stare*

On the runway, Team Nuts and Bolts pieces are like a stale clock (yup, couldn't come up with any clock puns).
On the other hand, Team Perfect has turned out some cute stuff but I want to hate it since I kind of hate how well everything is working out for them.
Anya is given the win, pretty much because she deserved it a while ago even though her stuff wasn't as good as Viktor or Olivier's.
And Becky is (finally) sent packing.
I would put together a compilation of Becky stares, but let's be real. That's way too much effort.

So here's our life lesson, kids: You stare you loose. And don't try to be a bitchy queen and a sad little motherless orphan man because it makes me sad.

Next week: More team challenges?

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