Well hello there fellow Gleeks! I don't have time to edit, so please excuse typo-o's. s. s.s .serjfso.
Who saw Glee 3D? I did! Who saw that two second shot of Damien in the audience at the concert in the movie? I did! Wow, way to make that "underdog" even more of a front runner.
This week the kids have to have a lesson in Generosity. They are taking off the whole week to do community service. Just kidding! As if they would ever do anything that was REALLY generous.
They are singing Stand by Me for their Homework Assignment, and the kids have fun out of ideas and decide that they will "generously" back each other up while the other one sings. Creative.
Sam struggles at the beginning of the song, Damien sings strange Irish opera with his eyebrows again and I can't help but smile, Lindsay gets the core of the song and belts it, and then Alex kills it with some runs Mercedes would be jealous of.
The guess, a very short Kevin McHale who plays Artie on Glee, chooses Lindsay as the winner, maybe because she has boobs. Afterwards, he asks her out on a date. When you're on Glee, it takes a lot to prove that you're straight.
The music video for the week will be "Sing" by My Chemical Romance. I really dislike that song, even though Ryan Murphey feels as though the viewers love it (he used it as the second song in Glee 3D). You know what makes the viewer's love it? The fact that Glenn Beck thinks it's inspiring Marxist ideas in the brains of our youth. This is going to make you laugh harder than any creepily sexual face made by Ryan Murphey or eyebrow thrusts made by Damien.
And they're being "generous" by sharing the spotlight with a little kid!
Lindsay gets a mini-me, Damien gets a "god-sent angel" that he uses to his advantage, Sam gets a cutie with a fro, and obviously the producers are trying to screw Alex because they give him a little white girl. Everyone was kind of matched by personality and looks (a mini-me!) except for him.
At the music video the kids (and the little kids) have to pretend to play a musical instrument. Sam is the only one who can play an instrument (and many at that!) because, let's be real, Sam is the only musical one. Lindsay can belt and Alex can do some runs, but they could never back a real band or jam on some instruments in their garage. They aren't artists, they are pop performers.
The music video is kind of a hot mess, it's horribly boring. They're just performing on a stage. Damien's eyebrows are making his face look like he's constipated, Lindsay is stealing the spot light and not lip syncing well, Samuel was messing up in the studio, and Alex wasn't connecting with his kid (go figure).
The final result was just like filming a concert.
I say Sam did the best, it was his kinda song and the dread shaking, rocking out on the keyboard, and connecting with the kid really worked.
However the "game changer" (note the quotes) at Last Chance Performances is that all four of them will be performing (because really, singling out one safe person is declaring a clear front runner) for Ian Brennan, another Glee writer. Here's how the performances stacked up:
Some Gospel "Standard"
Alex was performing a gospel "standard" whose name evades me for his Last Chance Performance. "Coincidentally" "I feel like I am grossly over using quotes" this song was sung at his father's funeral. I think that if being the winner was souly based on talent, he would win. I mean, can a voice get any more gorgeous than that? I don't understand why fans gang up and bully him so much, he really is a nice, dedicated kid whose been through hell (black, gay, and fatherless? I mean, really?) and has come out with the most beautiful voice.
I find Lindsay the least personable. Even though Ryan thinks she's coming around, I think that the girl is just as conniving as ever. She cries on demand, and only when it is most convenient to her. She's very automated and robotic, and her solos are the same way. The talent is undeniable, but she kind of just goes from note to note with little to no melody. Lindsay never emotes in her songs, the way that Alex did in his. I say that she should be the next to go.
I Gotta Be Me
Who can deny how precious Damien is? The problem is he isn't the "underdog" he is the clear front runner. All these stupid girls who have never been out of the country immediately fall in love with someone who has an accent. I know he has a good personality, but even before that, every girl in America was in love with that accent. Damien is a clear front runner, and though he is a really, really cute guy, here's the problem: He can't sing, he can't dance, he can't act, and he could never play anyone but himself. I want him to win because he's a sweetheart, but imagine him on Glee...what would he be? Himself. What if he was asked to play a rebellious drug addict whose mother died and had an affinity for cotton candy? He couldn't!
My Funny Valentine
So Sam's never heard this song (???) and I think I would be pretty pissed to be him...I mean, if there would have been a safe person it should have been him. But he can't quite give Ryan Murphey what he wants...I think his vocals were breathtaking and he needs to front a band ASAP, but somehow Ryan has decided he's too obvious. I disagree, though. Is it really real to cry on demand like Lindsay does? Is that "vulnerability"? Being able to spill out all your life's woes the minute you realize you might not get what you want? There have to be layers, and Samuel is a very layered guy. Do you think we've gotten to his root yet, do you think we've realized how he operates and why he operates that way? No. He doesn't dispense information on demand. And that's very real to me. If someone introduced them self I wouldn't immediately be like: "HI I'M GORDANA AND MY FATHER LEFT ME AND I HAD TO LIVE ON THE STREET GROWING UP BECAUSE MY MOM COULDN'T FIND WORK." (Except I kinda just did) You would have to ask me to figure that out.
Here's what I say: They need to do an acting challenge to see who can really act (making a face in a music video isn't acting). And from there, they can choose the finalists.
But here's an idea: Why don't they all be the sophomore class?